FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I forget how to act sober
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
