was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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