At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize