Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
