One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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