It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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