You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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