i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
