oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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