Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
