i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
