Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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