Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
