It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
