Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize