I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
