Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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