you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
