he puts the penis in happiness.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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