dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
