How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
