i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize