is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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