I need help removing her.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Another day, another engagement, another cat
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
