I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize