Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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