i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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