He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
