I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
we made out on top of his cat.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
