I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
