I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize