i think my mom watched the whole time
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
