If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
