Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
