Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
