nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
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