It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
