Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
