I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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