Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
