he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
