So drunk its hurt
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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