john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
