this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
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