he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
