Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Please, let me fuck your mom
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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