What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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