there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
