the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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