i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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