my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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