I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
