White coat. Heels.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize