You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The adults are the big ones right?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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