Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
