lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
