I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
