Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
