Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize