sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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