Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Randomize
