can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize