Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
