Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
