I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
