Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
