I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
