Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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