tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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