Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
