I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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