the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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