I am spending my child support on dildos
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Please don't give away my fajitas
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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